A Reflection on Parenting (Part 3)
A while back I started writing a series of posts on some of my thoughts about parenting. I kinda got sidetracked by life, but wanted to get back to some of the things I had been thinking about. In the last post I talked about the fact that society is diligently working hard to dictate how we respond to our children’s desires even going so far as to creating a science for understanding their feelings. Like darwinian evolution, behavioral science is devoid of the concept of God and focuses on self awareness, self esteem and self gratification. Do we see the root of the problem?
Behavioral science would rather have us ‘understand’ their urgings and desires instead of molding and shaping them “in the ways they should go” as we are exhorted to do in scripture. Giving our children free reign to pursue pleasure, whatever it may be, is basically giving them a free ticket into the proverbial handbasket. When we let them pursue self we are not being good parents and we certainly aren’t looking out for their benefit.
So the next I would like to explore is what specific things Christian parents can do to model Christ in a world that would rather us look through the lens of Behavioral Science and self focus.
I think the first place we need to start, is by being good role models especially when our kids are young and are watching everything around them so intently. It has been a real eye opener to watch David take in his environment, a rather sobering eye opener. As Christians, what we do and say are always being watched by society but we sometimes neglect the truth that our children are watching us even more closely so that they can imitate us. They want to play on the computer, or sweep the floor, or drive the car, or talk like Mama and Papa do. We are their first glimpse into how big people relate to each other and become thier example of how marriage relationships, friendships, being in fellowship with other Christians and relationships with their own children are supposed to work. So let us walk uprightly in the sight of God and our children, guarding our tongues and scrutinizing our actions so that in all things we glorify God.
The next thing we need to do is not to be afraid of correction. Either in correcting our children or being corrected ourselves. We all know how important it is to correct our children in love so that they will learn right from wrong, but I believe that a lot of people can undermine what they say and do by reacting badly to correction themselves. What kind of message are you sending to your children when you grumble about what your accountabilty partner is trying to help you with right after you’ve spanked them for taking cookies without asking?
I think that it ultimately boils down to where our heart is and how we respond and live. Are we focused more on our selves and reaping to the flesh instead of the spirit (Galations 5)? Are we modeling what it’s like to be follower’s of Christ? Are we good at taking God-directed correction?
Obscure for those outside the nerd world:
I say hyphenation is cheating
Kyle, this is incredible! I am blown away. Very profound and thought provoking. I wish you the best and I know you will serve our country well. God bless you and your family.
All I can say is what the Lord once said to me — I know that’s very subjective.
But I once spent a great deal of time repenting of my feelings. I considered my feelings the TRUE expression of me. Once in the midst of such a repentence, The Lord broke in and said. That’s not who you are — it’s just how you feel
Similiar thing happened when we first moved to Tulsa. I was simply contemplating my last few months working with children in Lawton; ruminating on the adage that you can’t fool a child. Thinking, yes, you can. I fooled them every week. I didn’t love them but they thought I did. Again, I was interrupted when the Lord said, that was love. Love isn’t a warm fuzzy feeling — it’s what you do and you LOVED those children for me.
One of the most powerful teachings I have hung onto through the years came from a converted Jewish woman whose name I have forgotten. She was the speaker at a retreat I went to when we first moved to Lawton. The series of messages was Obedience: Squeals, Squawks and the deluxe combo. Squealing obedience was when what we’re given to do is exactly what we want to do and we squeal with joy. Squawking obedience is the opposite. And the dexlue combo are those situations that begin either squeaking or squawking and then the experiences reverses itself. The point she made over and over again was that if we obeyed regardless of our feelings [squawking] The Lord would write in His book _________obeyed me, one more time.
I think feelings matter but I don’t find evidence God is judging us by them. He is moved by the feelings of our infirmities.
Side bar — but we all have ways we used to “fix” ourselves when our feelings begin to overwhelm us – my pesonal favorite is worship. Which anyone can do driving down the road. Lenghty devotions are not the only solution. Kerry uses worship and also has a wonderful testimony of using just giving thanks.
How in the world are you having time to listen to so many messages and post reviews in the afternoon? Are you leading a double life? I am jealous, I never have that kind of time with my work…
I think the poem is spot-on, having lived on an anvil of late. Thanks for transcribing it! Hope I get a semi-noble part.
I don’t have time to read any more. But I have plenty of time to listen. In due deference though, I didn’t transcribe it. The lovely folks at Dave Harvey’s church sent me a copy when they wrote back to me.
I did put in the proper line breaks, tho’.
It seems there were only the two entrants. So who won?
Hope everything’s ok. Our prayers are with you guys.
When is his appointment with a neuro?
Dang! What would a person do with nearly 9 gallons of mince meat?!
I do happen to like mince meat pie, though my tastes are probably off since I’m used to the store bought stuff. Still, 9 gallons…
Blegh. I remember what happened the last time mincemeat was consumed in our family.
MMM, that does sound good. Next time you cook up a batch send me a couple of cans
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